Maybe this happens with age. A compulsive list maker from the age of six, for the first time EVER in the entire History of the Universe I’ve not written the list of resolutions that will change the course of my life forever. While I may be exaggerating somewhat, this is still completely out of character. I’m so baffled that I find myself attempting – even now, on January 3rd – to plot the course of the next twelve months. Each time I believe I’ve set aside the time to do this I find something better to do. Like washing the dishes. Or folding laundry. Taking out the recycling. And I have to ask myself, “What’s up with that?”
My enthusiasm and optimism for this New Year hasn’t waned. I’m thrilled to have left 2007 – a very challenging year for me – far, far behind. But I simply don’t seem to be able to put in writing my hopes and dreams for the Great 2008. Maybe they’re bigger than the written word. I hope so.
And maybe somewhere inside me I have learned that it doesn’t matter how many times I write my list of aspirations. If those intentions don’t live in my heart and soul, they’re paper tigers. They’re meaningless.
I never did get around to writing a resolution for 2008. Nor did I write one the following year. And by the end of December 2009 I’d convinced myself resolutions were for the weak. No more resolutions for me. I had a far more cunning plan for 2010. It was failsafe. If I really wanted to keep my life moving forward, I would forget about writing a list of dreams that might never happen. Instead, I’d write a list of victories as they occurred. In other words, I didn’t scribble a few things down on a scrap of paper on December 31st, 2009 and then forget about it. Throughout 2010, as each new hurdle was surmounted, I recorded it. And then I did a little Dance of Joy. While my cunning plan was good for my self-esteem – my list grew steadily longer throughout the year – it failed at keeping me focused on the Big Picture.
So, after a few resolution free years, I think it’s time to go old-school again. Yep, that’s right. I’m setting some intentions for 2011. And I hope I won’t be alone. Anyone care to join me?
My immediate intention is to find a few quiet days between now and the New Year to contemplate the journey I’ve been on in the last five years since my return to California and the journey I want to go in the next five. It will involve writing and working out a way to feel less lost in the universe, choosing to be a caring and giving human and, of course, the old stand-by intention – being the healthiest Mimm I can be. And when I figure out the specifics the Whole Wide World (or the couple dozen folks who stumble upon this blog) will be the first to know.