Last night, at twenty minutes to eight o’clock, I landed. Cecelia, one of my yoga students, happened to mention Estelle Parsons. I didn’t realize ‘estelle’ was a magic word – a bit like ‘abracadabra’ – but when those two syllables hit my tympanic membrane I became whole again.
Until then, my brain felt more like a deck of cards flung into space and suspended, not knowing how to fall or where to land. Until then, my brain was still buzzing with everything I had experienced over the two days of the workshop. There was a disconnect between my brain, my will and my body.
I had learned what it takes to be published, but after a disastrous attempt on Monday morning, I had clearly lost the ability to write. But finally, at 7:40 pm on Monday the 3rd of August, my brain rebooted. I could feel it happen.
During our keynote speech Joyce Maynard told us that the stillness between writing times was important. She was right. I’m going to remember to honor the stillness.